Okie dokie ...

About 6 months ago, I started dating this super cute, nice, amazing, funny, charming guy named Devin. I thought he was so cute and handsome and jus awesome...
So I told my friend ...

And she told him that he should date me ...

So he gave me a chance :,)

we started dating around Valentine's Day and had our first dinner date on Valentine's day and our  first kiss ^///^

I knew he was going into the Navy but I honestly didn't think that we would be together for a long time ... I thought that we would last for a month, tops. I was wrong.

As the days went by, he held my hand, brought me presents, and showed up unexpectedly at school when he was sick just to see me It was the best and he made me feel like the only one in the world.

I kept telling my parents how awesome he was ... then one day they asked me something that I hadn't thought about ... "What are you going to do when he leaves for the Navy?" ... I was at a blank.

I knew he was going, yeah, but we never talked about us if we made it that far ... I was a little scared to ask about it ... I didn't want him thinking I was jumping into anything ... so I left it alone.

Then came time for Gradbash! We were both seniors so I spent the day at his house before we left ... We were at Subway when he brought it up ... "We need to talk about when I leave ..."

And we did and came up with some scenarios and thought it would be best if we broke up when he left. It seemed smart and reasonable and I thought I could handle it. No boy had ever broken my heart before, so why not?

The conversation continued when we went back to his house ... his head was in my lap when he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I love you ... Really ... and I don't wanna hurt you. If you want to leave now, you can. I don't wanna be a dick and break your heart."

I told him that I loved him too.
And I truly did.
So I stayed with him.

Before school ended, I was nominated for an ROTC scholarship at University of Arizona. I received the scholarship on July 4th. He was so happy and proud of me. 

Time went on, we played, laughed, wrestled, and everything ... we went on dates and cherished each other ... we went on vacation together ... It was amazing.

My birthday came. August 1st and he wanted to spend the day with me ... my parents let him sleep over He gave me a card that I still cherish ... It says:

Dear (my real name),

You mean so much to me. I wish I could take you with me , you have made me such a better person since I've been with you. Even though it's only been six months, it's been the best six months. I'm not very good at writing sentiments or picking out cards ... So I got this one that says you're 18! I'm sure you already know that. What this card doesn't say is the way I feel about you. Happy 18th Birthday Babe!!
~Love Devin

It made my heart swell knowing how much he cared about me ...
But time was already out ...
He had to leave August 5 ... so we had a party for him on the 3rd. I spent the night with him again.

Each time we spent the night, we were always curled up next to each other ... happy to be together.

On the 4th, he had to leave for the hotel ... but I couldn't go with him. We spent the day together; went to school to say our goodbyes and thank yous, got Dunkin Doughnuts, kissed and hugged some more.

And at 1:20pm he had to take me home. I was crying as he drove me to my house. He escorted me into my empty house ... My dad was at work and my mom was with my siblings at a doctor's office in Tampa.

As soon as we were inside, I turned around, buried my head against his chest as I sobbed. He held me for a while as I started to calm down ... then he made me look up at him ...

The look on his face as he saw what him leaving did to me ... he looked like a kicked puppy ... That face was awful ... He kept making it as he kissed me again and again. Trying to comfort me as best he could.

We kept telling each other over and over again 'I love you' 'I miss you' 'I'm gonna miss you' .... then we parted ...

I walked him to my front door.
The door was still open as he hugged me one last time and whispered "Goodbye"...
I said "Goodbye" back, tears still coming down hard.
He turned and walked halfway down the entry walk before turning around and saying 'I love you ...'


That was the last thing he told me before turning around and getting into his car and driving away.

I closed the door and sobbed so hard after he left. I miss him so much!

We never argued or fought or anything!
we are young and haven't had much experience in life but in this relationship that we had, we loved each other.

It was closest either of us had ever come to.
We still do.

I'm still crying today ... I miss him so much ... I just keep expecting him to come down the rode in his car saying "Hey beeb! What's wrong?"

I want him to show up and hug me ... telling me that everything will be okay ...


We both feel that if our relationship is meant to be, then it will be. We still plan on keeping in touch ... but not dating ...

It's the possibility that we might end up together again makes me unable to move on from the relationship. I'm not forgetting him. I'm not forgetting the past 6 months we spent together because those were the best days of my life!

I can't picture myself with anyone else ... just him ...
Yet, people say that me going to Arizona might lead to me meeting Mr. Right ...
But I don't think that's right.
I love Devin.
I can't move on anytime soon ...

We plan on meeting up together this Christmas ... and hopefully see what's going to happen from there.


I miss my baby.
I love him.
And he's gone.
I just want him to come home. :,(


          



My Babe and I <3

any comments on what u all recommend I do is greatly appreciated.
I just need some help is all ...

Alright so I've been on DA for 2 years now and I'm wondering ... Should I put a real pic of me for my profile pic?

I feel like I should but I don't know. Leave a comment if you would like it or not ... or give me a llama if you would like me to ... or not

Also ... Have a question to ask the people who read my America X Reader series ...

What would you guys like to see in the story?

Seriously, whatever you think would make it better, you can either leave a comment or if you want to send a note out of privacy feel free.

It can be anything from lemons, to kidnap/ rescue, to Captain America being involved in some way shape or form XP
Whatever you want to see in it let me know

Hope you all are having the best day ever!

Don't forget ... do as much as you can today. You never know what tomorrow will bring you <3

ALRIGHT!!!

YOU DEVIANTS GOT SOME S'PLANNIN TODO!!!!

I have been seeing journals the past couple of weeks talking about nothing but SOPA ... So someone ...

I shall ask this in the most calmest manner I am able ... But please, someone ...

TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK SOPA IS!!!!????????

All I see are journals that vent how they hate or love SOPA but I have no clue what it is ...

WHAT THE FUCK IS IT!!!!??????


pretty please ^^

Thank You <3 ^^

Hope you all have a lovely day XD


P.S. Got any questions concerning my status (mood thingy) just comment and I'll explain ... rlly funny XD

DEVIANT ART CHANGE THE LOCATION OF YOUR FREAKING BUTTONS BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED TO UPLOAD THIS MEME!!!!!! FOR THE 5TH FREAKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY!!! This time it worked ... ^^"

SPOILERSS!!!

A.K.A Have not seen said movie yet, do not read please ... unless you really do not care ^^
Also, major cursing in this ... don't like, please do not read.
Finally, I also mention some ... demeanering facts about North Korea and how I feel about them, so if you are pro-North Korean, you WILL NOT LIKE THIS! So I am begging you!!! DON'T FUCKING READ!!!!




Enjoy~





Let me just say that literally 2 minutes ago I finished watching Olympus Has Fallen with the family and let me just say that this movie makes me wanna become President of the fucking United States of fucking America just so I can turn all of North Korea into a pit of nuclear waste! I would shove AMERICAN MADE nuclear bombs up their assets so far that North Korea will cease to exist.

Granted I promise I am not racist and I do not think all North Koreans are bad. I honestly don't. BUT I am a full fledged Patriot and if you paint a picture for me in movie format of our glorious American capital getting taken down by some snobby bitch-ass North Koreans .... well needless to say I'm gonna be a little ticked off.

Plus, it doesn't help my impression of North Korea when I say that I saw a documentary about their country a couple of weeks ago by National Geographic. Yeah!

And letme tell you all something! Their fucking "leader" who I would love to call a fucking cock sucker, and his stupid family have been brain-washing the population of North Korea into thinking they are so great that they are like Gods! Fucking shit!

In the documentary, they had to disguise themselves as a film crew for this doctor who would perform eye surgery for the people who can't afford, which the documentary pretty much says consists of 80% of the fucking country. The 20% that aren't poverty level or below, are just really close friends with the cock sucker.

And you know, when I first saw this documentary, I was originally thinking, 'Oh, they [North Korean poverty people] are gonna say thank you to the doctor' and you wanna know what the fuck happens?!?!?

They are in this big building where the patients will take their bandages off and hopefully see again, well in the front of this building is a huge ass picture of said dictator. Yea. Can you guess what happens next??

Once the bandages are off of them, they go running up to the picture and start praising and saying the dictator gave them their sight back. MOTHERFUCKER!!!

I am pissed. CAN YA TELL????

Geez!!! I just wanna form a freaking amazing guerrilla-styled SEAL team Sixx and freaking overthrow the dictator. And before I even laid a finger on him, I would love to take a picture of him and his dad (who started the family legacy) and burn them in front of him.

WANNA START A WAR WITH US NOW?!

Geez.

Sorry. I honestly am not trying to be mean or discriminate. I know I am right now though ... uuugggghhhhh .... THIS IS JUST SO ... frustrating.... Try being a hard core Patriot and sit through the freaking White House/ Olympus Has Fallen movies and tell me you don't wanna go shoot some terrorist bastards in the fucking dick.

Yeah I said it.

Sue me.

But being serious here, I have multiple friends that are Asians, a couple of which whose families were from North Korea (i believe) and I think they are awesome people. And to be honest,  I don't think North Korea would be so bad if their people weren't brain washed by a dick face.

Think about it.

I do not think that is how they would act of they were not forced to act that way. If you do not have a picture of the dictator in your house, they arrest you and send you to a legit concentration camp for the rest of your life! Oh, wait, I'm sorry, you have family too? Check it they can go in the concentration camp with you as well as the rest of your future offspring.

Fucking dicks.

If you have Netfix and do not believe me, go check it out. I believe the title is Inside North Korea or something like that. Or you can just type in National Geographic in the search bar and it should pop up with the other documentaries they have.

Sorry.

Once again. Do not hate the people. Hate the leader.

Actually, not even that. I'm gonna give this ... person ... the benefit of the doubt and say he believes what he is doing is right (probably does cause his dad raised him that way) and doesn't mean any harm.

What I hate ... is what he does to the people.

How he brain washes them and force them to do this stupid stuff and to worship him like a God.

Newsflash hun, there is one God in this world and I certainly do not think it is you.

Once again, sorry for such a curse-filled, discrimination sounding journal thing.

I do not like to hate.

I wish to love.

But if you fuck with America I will shove my foot so far up your ass, your gonna have my shoe on your mind until death do you part.

Do.
Not.
Fuck.
With.
America.

I will hunt you down.
And I will get you.

Signed,

    A Future U.S. Airman (hopefully)


CAN YOU TELL THE MOVIE PISSED ME OFF?!?!?!?!?!!!!!