About 6 months ago, I started dating this super cute, nice, amazing, funny, charming guy named Devin. I thought he was so cute and handsome and jus awesome...
So I told my friend ...
And she told him that he should date me ...
So he gave me a chance :,)
we started dating around Valentine's Day and had our first dinner date on Valentine's day and our first kiss ^///^
I knew he was going into the Navy but I honestly didn't think that we would be together for a long time ... I thought that we would last for a month, tops. I was wrong.
As the days went by, he held my hand, brought me presents, and showed up unexpectedly at school when he was sick just to see me It was the best and he made me feel like the only one in the world.
I kept telling my parents how awesome he was ... then one day they asked me something that I hadn't thought about ... "What are you going to do when he leaves for the Navy?" ... I was at a blank.
I knew he was going, yeah, but we never talked about us if we made it that far ... I was a little scared to ask about it ... I didn't want him thinking I was jumping into anything ... so I left it alone.
Then came time for Gradbash! We were both seniors so I spent the day at his house before we left ... We were at Subway when he brought it up ... "We need to talk about when I leave ..."
And we did and came up with some scenarios and thought it would be best if we broke up when he left. It seemed smart and reasonable and I thought I could handle it. No boy had ever broken my heart before, so why not?
The conversation continued when we went back to his house ... his head was in my lap when he looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I love you ... Really ... and I don't wanna hurt you. If you want to leave now, you can. I don't wanna be a dick and break your heart."
I told him that I loved him too.
And I truly did.
So I stayed with him.
Before school ended, I was nominated for an ROTC scholarship at University of Arizona. I received the scholarship on July 4th. He was so happy and proud of me.
Time went on, we played, laughed, wrestled, and everything ... we went on dates and cherished each other ... we went on vacation together ... It was amazing.
My birthday came. August 1st and he wanted to spend the day with me ... my parents let him sleep over He gave me a card that I still cherish ... It says:
Dear (my real name),
You mean so much to me. I wish I could take you with me , you have made me such a better person since I've been with you. Even though it's only been six months, it's been the best six months. I'm not very good at writing sentiments or picking out cards ... So I got this one that says you're 18! I'm sure you already know that. What this card doesn't say is the way I feel about you. Happy 18th Birthday Babe!!
It made my heart swell knowing how much he cared about me ...
But time was already out ...
He had to leave August 5 ... so we had a party for him on the 3rd. I spent the night with him again.
Each time we spent the night, we were always curled up next to each other ... happy to be together.
On the 4th, he had to leave for the hotel ... but I couldn't go with him. We spent the day together; went to school to say our goodbyes and thank yous, got Dunkin Doughnuts, kissed and hugged some more.
And at 1:20pm he had to take me home. I was crying as he drove me to my house. He escorted me into my empty house ... My dad was at work and my mom was with my siblings at a doctor's office in Tampa.
As soon as we were inside, I turned around, buried my head against his chest as I sobbed. He held me for a while as I started to calm down ... then he made me look up at him ...
The look on his face as he saw what him leaving did to me ... he looked like a kicked puppy ... That face was awful ... He kept making it as he kissed me again and again. Trying to comfort me as best he could.
We kept telling each other over and over again 'I love you' 'I miss you' 'I'm gonna miss you' .... then we parted ...
I walked him to my front door.
The door was still open as he hugged me one last time and whispered "Goodbye"...
I said "Goodbye" back, tears still coming down hard.
He turned and walked halfway down the entry walk before turning around and saying 'I love you ...'
That was the last thing he told me before turning around and getting into his car and driving away.
I closed the door and sobbed so hard after he left. I miss him so much!
We never argued or fought or anything!
we are young and haven't had much experience in life but in this relationship that we had, we loved each other.
It was closest either of us had ever come to.
We still do.
I'm still crying today ... I miss him so much ... I just keep expecting him to come down the rode in his car saying "Hey beeb! What's wrong?"
I want him to show up and hug me ... telling me that everything will be okay ...
We both feel that if our relationship is meant to be, then it will be. We still plan on keeping in touch ... but not dating ...
It's the possibility that we might end up together again makes me unable to move on from the relationship. I'm not forgetting him. I'm not forgetting the past 6 months we spent together because those were the best days of my life!
I can't picture myself with anyone else ... just him ...
Yet, people say that me going to Arizona might lead to me meeting Mr. Right ...
But I don't think that's right.
I love Devin.
I can't move on anytime soon ...
We plan on meeting up together this Christmas ... and hopefully see what's going to happen from there.
I miss my baby.
I love him.
And he's gone.
I just want him to come home. :,(
My Babe and I <3
any comments on what u all recommend I do is greatly appreciated.
I just need some help is all ...